So sharing these feeling with the world leaves me feeling vulnerable, especially since there are a few people out there that I would rather not know about my blog (still working on the private thing). If you are a friend of mine then don't worry, it's not you... but believe it or not I actually have some people I don't really like, that I'm sure they don't like me either... so why check my blog if you don't like me?!?!
Anyway, I was reading my friend Kassie's blog and some things she said struck me. She talked about how we can't change anyone but ourselves so sitting around waiting for others to change, whether its their view of me, my family, my friends... or rather it be bad habits they have or mean things they say... well I can't do anything about it, only work on myself. I'm going to try to focus more inward so that I can be at peace with myself.
Lately I feel like I've been falling so short in every aspect of my life. Spiritually I feel somewhat disconnected from God and it's really bugging me because we are getting sealed to Anabelle soon and I really want to feel connected. I know what it takes to get connected but if I'm a human puddle of mush how do I start... I can't even scoop myself up!!! Mentally I feel like a crack head!!! I have so much going on in my life that I can't even sit down and make a list of priorities because everything seems like a priority!!! It's so much easier to just stay in my pj's all day and mope around! Physically... urgh... where do I start?!?! I feel like a blob! I haven't been working out as much since I'm not doing that sprint triathlon anymore, I've just kinda fallen off the wagon. I really enjoy running but with Jon's crazy work schedule I haven't been able to find a lot of time to hit the road... again, if I put forth more effort this would happen... but it all goes back to feeling like that pile of mush! As a mother I see what I want to be, and then I notice what I really am. I could be such a better mommy to my kids, and I aspire to be, but it takes so much effort and support and ENERGY! And as for being a wife, I wish... I wish... nah, I'm a pretty perfect wife!!! Huh Jon?!?!
Anyway, I'm totally rambling and feeling so sorry for myself but being real!!! Have you ever felt like this? How did you take care of yourself?
I have a feeling this is what God would be saying to me now...
Oh...I nkow what you are saying. I ahve those days all the time where I have no motivation, everything makes me sad or blue and I don't want to do anything. But the only good thing is a day is so short and tomorrow will be better. Hang inthere. You are awesome!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely normal!! I feel like that quite often lately and it sucks! I would love to come pick you up, but if you remember correctly, you moved!! haha. It would be fun to have another girls day with you!
ReplyDeleteYou are seriously one of the coolest, prettiest, nicest, friendliest, most perfectest person I have ever met. I have only hung out with you a little over the time I have known you and seriously love you! I aspire to be like you and all you do. I think you are a spectacular human being and am so glad Bec introduced us. Look at all the great stuff on your blog about you and your kids - you are a wonderful person and a wonderful mom!!
I totally had that same day on Monday and you are totally normal! I will tell you my cool experience though. That night as I was praying(aka begging for help)the thought was given to me that the adversary is winning right now and has control over me. He wants you to feel horrible about yourself as a mother, wife and person. He wants you to be mad at your husband and blame him and only see his faults(yes, I do it all too often). Well, to make a long story short Trent sent me an old Ensign article the next day which I wasn't happy about at the time. Who wants spiritual advice when you think you're the one who's right? But it felt like it was written just for me and it's definately given me hope and a more positive outlook on dealing with the fun days as a mom. Sorry about the novel but you always have a friend (or a million!) to call and I would love for you to come hang out and chat while the kids go crazy together!
ReplyDeleteTice, I can't even express to you how much I SOOOOOO feel like this right now! I have been feeling this way for a couple of months and I would love to have one of our long conversations about it because this stupid little comment window on blogger isn't going to cut it! I'll quickly just let you know how awesome you are and how much you are loved by everyone including ME! Okay, I'm going to go send you an email now! HUGS!!!!!!
ReplyDeletep.s. as soon as the Ensign comes out we can all read Elder Ballard's talk on mothers every morning to help us get through these challenging times. : )
This is what you need to do make John watch the kids, put some good music on your iPod, go outside and run like hell. It'll help clear your mind.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, I know exactly how you feel. Watch this video it'll make you feel better. http://www.cmt.com/videos/trace-adkins/217378/youre-gonna-miss-this.jhtml
Girl, I don't have any advice or solace other than I hope you find comfort in knowing I struggle with this, too. And I know it's totally normal to get down about the pressures of being a wife/mom, but that doesn't make it any easier. So, yeah... I've really been working at focusing on one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteAll that said, I know I'm not the only one that thinks you're an incredible person and mom TC! Don't get too down on yourself - you are amazing. And I know your kids and husband would agree with me. You're a perfectionist... if we can't do it when/how we want to, we don't do it. Right? ;0) That's how my mind works anyhow.
But if you figure out how to peel yourself up off the floor, let me know how you did it, lol, so I can try it.
Oh I am TOTALLY in the same boat as you, lol. I have those weeks all of the time, hence I just posted about it this week too- lol. You have a beautiful home and a beautiful family :) Everything else will hopefully kick into place. Maybe its because you refuse to finish reading "Eclipse." lol. I think that all of the problems in the world could be solved by reading the Twilight Series ;)
ReplyDeleteI totally feel like that all the time! But when I get like that I try to think of all the good things I am doing or have done and it usually makes me feel a little better. Plus, nobody's perfect right? You are awesome and don't let yourself convince you otherwise!
ReplyDeleteTC, its completely normal to feel that way. I think we all feel it from time to time. But honestly, every thing Shanda said in her comment to you is exactly right! You are SO nice and friendly, and such a GREAT friend and example to me in my life. I really feel blessed to be able to call you one of my best friends. I dont know what I would do without you sometimes, and I REALLY hate that you moved SO far away from me! :(
ReplyDeleteTC, I got a little bored at work and was looking to see how all my friends were doing. As we all know if wives aren't feeling 100%.. then it directly affects the rest of the family, esp us the husbands. I just thought I would leave a little message of encouragement to represent all the husbands. Constantly I am looking towards other people and their experiences who have gone through difficult times I am often reminded that patience is sometimes the best medicine for pain. Knowing that pain whether it be metal, spiritual, or physical is temporary. we are promised from God that "these things too shall pass". It is ok to be a little down. Just remember that the sun will rise tomorrow. Remember Life is good!
ReplyDeleteTice, I feel a little like this every day! And I was telling the hubby about how pissed I was at the 'adversary' for trying to get me down. Just remember who wants you to succeed. And remember the help that you can receive from 'the other side', if you will. I've noticed the more often I go to the temple, the more at peace I am...I really believe the people we do work for, help us out. So, I don't know if you're in to family history or even indexing (do you guys do that in AZ yet?), but if you try it out, it will work! You know that whole scripture, "And He shall turn the heart of the fathers to their children, and the heart of the children to their fathers.." (Malachi 4:6). Just something to think about. Love ya babe!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are normal. That is why I wrote that post on mine to try and make myself remember the good things in life. The last two weeks I have been horrible. My poor little family has been so patient with me. I love this quote "I want to live my life in such a way that when I get up each morning, Satan says, "OH NO, SHE's AWAKE!" Keep your chin up and know that this too shall pass!
ReplyDeleteTC--Sorry I was a Debbie Downer! Your God quote totally made me feel better! And Ya know, I'd rather be a person that feel like they fall short sometimes than have nothing to fall short of. Ya know what I mean! It just means we are go-getters and we want to be great!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah! It is a deadly combination: Girl's time and the adversary. One of his best tools is isolation: I am the only one that. . . .or everyone else does it better . . . oh yeah! I think for me, my floor times are that you guys (you and Milli and Co.) have moved. I find this to be the source often of being on the floor. Oh yeah!! Love you!
ReplyDeleteTice, you are totally normal. I am just taking care of one person--and find it difficult to get out of bed sometimes. So, I think your mom is totally right (as usual) this is the adversary's best tool to use against us.
ReplyDeleteTake a mini-vacations (perhaps in your minivan) and do something for you.
And as always, thank you for being REAL! I love your guts! Come visit me!
Um, Tice, this is Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for me, and if I am really lucky, Tuesdays and Thursdays, too. Take comfort in the fact that you are NOT ALONE in the least bit. Just remember this: the downs make the ups that much better.
ReplyDeleteI think every mom feels like that at some time during the week or Day! I have always loved how you are so real and you tell people just how you feel and think! I think the best way to get out of those moments is to talk. I always feel better when I acknowlege how I'm feeling and then I move on from there. You are great and you have always been great and will always be great! Hope your doing better! This is Natalie Vance by the way! I just started a blog for my family and I got your blog link from Milli.
ReplyDeleteI love reading your blog because your so real. You are such a cute person and mom!!! I seriously love being around you. Can't wait until we see your cute family again.
ReplyDeleteI must say you are a great poster : ) I love reading about your realness. I think many of us are scared to do this, to show this side of us. I am trying to be better, more like you in this sense. As for everything you say in your post. Here is what I think. One, I can or in my past could relate to A LOT to what you are going through. I know, I know it sure doesn't make things better but I tell you this because if you ever need to shoot me an email and vent then feel free. Also on the whole energy thing, well my opinion is the only real place you will get this "energy" is from GOD. Maybe pray to him and stop ordering from his menu but ask him to do with you what he knows is right. If you can do this, then the energy will come. Love ya... Miss ya
ReplyDeleteHey Tice, it is nice to know you are "normal!" So yah, I have days like that, too, that's what peanut M&M's and the Lifetime movie channel are for. And why is it that we think everyone else is super Mom and we're not? My question is always, how do I get motivated? Rus' piano teacher tells him that when he's feeling unmotivated, to just get started, and the motivation will follow. It's been good advice for me, though I don't always follow it (how do I get motivated to even START?? LOL)
ReplyDeleteLove,
Pat
I've learned that you are always your biggest critic. You are a great person and mom! You are allowed to have downer days, so don't be too hard on yourself! You are awesome and I love reading your blog!
ReplyDeleteI know I've already read this one before but I came across this post today and hello, YES! I feel like this all of the time. What priorities are the highest? They ALL seem high and they ALL seem daunting. Where should I start? What is something I can handle doing today? So freaking overwhelming...
ReplyDeleteAnd you really rock it at that mothering thing you're always doing. I know, I know, I'm only 6 years late with the praise but it's still SO TRUE! I love you millions!
Oops, I was signed in wrong...well, not really. You know who I am. But still, oops. :)
ReplyDelete