I'm an Expert!

In my life I have become an expert in a few things.

I'm not bragging. 

I'm not even sure most of this is brag-worthy. 

Here are some of the things I would consider myself somewhat of a "hands-on" expert at:

1. Softball - I can barely touch my toes and my arm gets sore after about 3 long throws but I am confident in my ability to teach this sport. I know this sport. I played this sport and I had the best coaches in the world {minus a few douche bags...can I say douche bag on my own blog?} who taught me the "why's" behind this game.
2. Eating Disorders - I am an expert when it comes to the pain and the ugliness that comes from hating ones body. Body image and body dysmorphia can be debilitating and paralyzing. It was impossible for me to live any sort of productive life when I was choosing my eating disorder over recovery. I am an expert on what life looks like being stuck in this place. 
3. Recovery - the fight! I am an expert because I know what it takes to choose recovery everyday. It isn't easy and I don't win everyday but I know what it takes to keep fighting for happiness and recovery. 
4. Trauma and PTSD - I have lived through some major trauma.You can read about my experience at the Reno Air Races here and here. When I experienced this tragedy my life changed, in one moment I was changed. I see the world differently. I see mortality differently. I became an expert in understanding something deeper than I can even express here. Because of this experience I can empathize deeper, love harder, and feel more. 
5. Betrayal Trauma - {like I said, not the most brag-worthy thing} I have been careful about how I share my story of betrayal trauma and for the most part it has been very vague. People know that Jon and I have gone through some "rough patches" {to say the least} but with very limited details. I have shared a bit here and I have worked with the church on several projects, one being this video with the hope that my story will maybe, just maybe, help someone else out there. I understand this. I know this. Betrayal trauma is a part of my life and I understand it because I've had to go through it. I know what it is like to live and love someone with an addiction. I understand. I'm here. No judgement. 
6. Laughing - I'm an expert in laughing and finding ways to laugh at life. Laughter and laughing has saved me. I love to laugh and I'm pretty good at doing the crazy things it takes to create laughter, I mean... 

So, here's the thing, sometimes crazy people ask me to speak at events and firesides and at conferences on these topics {well not softball or laughing but they should}! I have been focusing on my family so I have only done a handful of these this year BUT I'm feeling like I am ready to put myself out there again. The best thing about this is JON CAN DO FIRESIDES WITH ME!!! We have done three together in the last month and IT IS AWESOME! We mostly focus on betrayal trauma, body image, addiction, and recovery so if you are looking for someone {or a couple} to speak and educate others on anything listed above, let me know! 

We may be your cup of tea. {if your tea tastes more like hot chocolate!}

And on the topic on addiction and betrayal, check out THIS BOOK! >>>>>

I'm more than half way through and I think EVERYONE should read it! You can get it here, here, and here... and if you are interested in these brilliant authors educating and teaching you and your peeps, they are scheduling firesides now! You can contact them here! 

SaveSave

Jack and Softball

The only thing better then watching the U of U take down ASU is watching it with this guy.

Jack is so awesome and loves life like no child I have ever seen before!

This kid makes my heart happy.
GO UTES! GO JACK!
Love you buddy!

SLCC SOFTBALL!

Last night I had a great time with my SLCC softball team. I just love these girls! We had such a fun time playing ball 8 years ago and we've stayed great friends as time has passed. I'd have to say that this was one of my favorite years of playing ball since I started... when I was 5! We met at Iggy's in Layton (the half-way point for everyone) I left my house at 5:00 and got home a little after midnight... to say the least we had so much fun catching up with each other and reminiscing about "the good old days". Thanks for the great night ladies!!! And don't forget to be superstitious!!!

Stacy, TC, Jen, Hayley, Tiffany, Jill, Becky, Jesse

We missed all that couldn't make it.

Utah Stars Woo-Woo Yeah!

The other day I went with some of my old softball friends to Fiddlers Elbow. I had never been there before but the food was so good. The best part was catching up with people that have influenced my life in so many ways. I love these girls, we practically lived every summer together since we were 10 years old, traveling from state to state every weekend for tournements! I have so many funny memories with these gals, I think I'd have to change my blog to rated R if I shared most of them... I want you gals to know how much I love your stinkin' guts... let the good times roll! Natalie we missed you, sorry you couldn't make it... also, Becky was there but she had to leave early so she's not in the picture.

Katie, Ali, Kelly, Kari, Me!
I was always the only "non-blonde" in all the softball pictures from when I was little to now!

This crazy weekend!

On Friday night I got a call from Amy Hogue, the head softball coach at the . She told me that her team was in town for the weekend and was wondering if I wanted to come to dinner with them... I was SO EXCITED! I met them at Pei Wei on Thursday night and it was so great to get caught up with her. She, is one of the GREATEST coaches EVER... best female coach by far! She knows the game so well and learned from my other wonderful coach, Vaughn Alvey, (Amy is a former Alta Hawk and Vaughn coached her but he now coaches for BYU... boooo!!!)... oh crap, there are a lot of former BYU softball players reading this (including my sister) huh?!?! Sorry, but not sorry enough to erase my comment! Anyway, I had a great time at dinner then had to leave to meet up with Katie Thomas to go pick up Ali McMillian and Kelly Clark (also formal teammates of the Utah Stars) from the airport... YIPEE, friends in town! We had such a great time hanging out. We picked the girls up at the airport then ate at the Waffle House where we talked with the waitress who, I'm positive, was a lesbian coming onto us... hmmmm, a lesbian coming on to softball players... how do they always know!!!???

Then on Friday I gathered up the kiddos (mind you, I'm exhausted because of the night before) and went to ASU to watch the Utes get their butts handed to them by number one Arizona State University... it was fun to watch and of course, we all wore our RED! Softball is so beautiful to me, just like golf is beautiful to Jon... just look at this field, it's a little bit of Heaven on Earth!

On Friday night we went to a Suns vs. Jazz game. I tried to go for the Suns, embracing my new roots, but I just couldn't. I wanted the Jazz to win... Jon was so mad that I wore orange!

By the way Kell, thanks for the great seats!!!

On Saturday I woke up to go to my kids' soccer meetings. I met their coaches and got their practice and game schedules and bought them a soccer ball so we can play in our yard! It was so crazy and overwhelming... I left thinking "my life will never be the same"!!! After the meeting my family and I went to "The Carnival at the Park". It was a carnival that Highland Park Elementary (Brayden's school) was putting on to raise money. The boys, and I mean all 3 of my boys, had a riot! Anabelle and I just chilled!

After the carnival I met up with my friends and went shopping, to dinner, and then to a karaoke bar. The bar is a little out of my element but my friends loved it! I just hung out and listened to the worst singing EVER!

The girls left on Sunday at 4:30am so I said my good-byes, which I'm sure none of them remembered but Katie, and went home to my dead asleep husband!

Whoosh! What a weekend! Now we are preparing for next week when my parents and Sadie come for the entire week of spring break... YIPEE!!!