Am I back? I guess time will tell. I've felt this burning desire to get back to writing. Not just any writing, I suppose, more "real" writing. I find that I love reading blogs that revolve around people's realities. I guess my self esteem gets a bit beat up after reading one to many blogs about people who never seem to struggle... eventually I feel like something is wrong with me because I do struggle... so, I'm just going to write. Write whatever I want to write. Write whatever I feel. Write things that don't sound "politically correct". Write incorrectly without stopping to fix my puntuation or make my pictures line up or make things pretty. That part of blogging is probably what made me stop. I couldn't keep up. But now (and I know how this is going to sound) that I am getting older, kinda growing out of the "twenty phase", I'm realizing more about me and more about how things work, or don't work, and I guess "keeping up" has become somewhat insignificant to me.
First things first, I have to decide who, if anyone, I'm going to share this blog with. I mean, sharing a blog is a big deal to me. Other then the fun posts about family vacations and the cute things my kids do on a daily basis, this is a journal. And it's my journal. And it's not really up for debate because it's me and how I feel. Watching someone learn and grow can sometimes be an ugly thing to watch, I have learned that. I just have to keep reminding myself that even though I'm getting old, this is the first time in my life that I have been in the situation that I find myself in today, and tomorrow and next week... so it's okay to do it wrong, as long as I keep trying. And that's the plan, to keep trying.
First things first, I have to decide who, if anyone, I'm going to share this blog with. I mean, sharing a blog is a big deal to me. Other then the fun posts about family vacations and the cute things my kids do on a daily basis, this is a journal. And it's my journal. And it's not really up for debate because it's me and how I feel. Watching someone learn and grow can sometimes be an ugly thing to watch, I have learned that. I just have to keep reminding myself that even though I'm getting old, this is the first time in my life that I have been in the situation that I find myself in today, and tomorrow and next week... so it's okay to do it wrong, as long as I keep trying. And that's the plan, to keep trying.
