I've Seen Both Sides of the Clouds

Mike took this on our flight {because he has to do everything}

In June my family and I went on our annual vacation to Newport Beach but this trip was very special and very unique.

I was able to spend time with some dear friends of mine.  We met in Reno at the Reno Air Races in 2011.  We met the year of the crash.  We met the year the Galloping Ghost plummeted into the box seating killing a dozen people and hurting so many more.  The thing about going through something like that is that those you go through it with are automatically connected to each other.  It is a strange phenomenon, but it is real.  I am very connected to those that were there that day, I am very connected to Mike and Kendle.

I have so things many to say about Mike and Kendle and the people they are, the flights they took my boys (including my hubby) on, the service they give, the kindness in their hearts, their amazing examples, etc... but today I want to write about my very own spiritual flight with Mike.

I have a crush on a man.  Don't worry, Jon is okay with it!  My crush isn't just any old man.  My crush is on a Stearman.  A beautiful convertible yellow bi-plane that has years of stories and experiences to share with the world... including mine.

Me and my "man" crush on the Stearman! 

Mike let me wear Kendle's flight suit because it was a little chilly outside.  It was cloudy when we took off, a heavy marine layer was present giving the impression of a gloomy sky.

Before take-off! 

As the wheels left the ground we waved to Jon and I watched him grow smaller and smaller as we flew higher and higher.  Our first destination... above those gloomy clouds.

Good-bye Jon!  This is me in the front taking off with Mike! 

It was like we had entered a completely different world where the sky was the perfect shade of blue and the sun was shining brightly.  The top of the clouds were brilliant white and puffy and soft.  This is where Mike introduced me to some backflips and dives and loops and spirals and twirls and twists!

The feeling of the air flying through my hair, the sun on my face, the weightlessness of my body is indescribable.  The beauty I was witnessing combined with the feelings I was having was moving.  It moved me.  My soul felt excitement and peace all at the same time.  I felt grateful to know God and to know of his unconditional love for me.  I felt grateful for such a rare opportunity to be flying in such a beautiful machine with such a great person and friend.  My feelings manifested in smiles and tears.

I didn't think anything could compare to what I was experiencing in that moment.

And then we started towards our next destination... below those bright puffy clouds.

Look at me! I'm flying in a convertible yellow plane! 

I was sad to say good-bye to the bright side and enter back into the gloomy weather.  I was listening to Mike point out different places; the Long Beach Harbor, Angel's Gate Lighthouse, the Queen Mary and Russian Submarine, my favorite place was when he showed me where he grew up!  The tour was beautiful and then Mike told me we were going out to the ocean to get close.

Getting close to the ocean was an understatement.  We were practically gliding on top of the ocean. In fact, I think we were gliding on top of the ocean.  It is a hard feeling to capture in words but we were only feet above the ocean and I noticed felt the powerful ocean grab the plane and as the swells rose, so did the plane and as the swells dipped, so did the plane.

It felt like music would feel, everything was in motion together, the ocean supported and respected the sky and the sky supported and respected the ocean.  And there I was, right in the middle of the harmony between the ocean and the sky feeling supported and respected.

I didn't think anything could compare to what I was experiencing in that moment.

And then Mike asked me to look over the left wing and he asked me to let him know if I noticed anything.  I looked over the left wing and I was so amazed at how close we were to the ocean, it was like I was riding on a fast sailboat and then I noticed something... it was fast but it was something.  I started to doubt myself thinking I imagined it but as soon as that doubt set in I saw it again, and again, and again!  I didn't say a verbal word to Mike through the intercom but he must have heard my screams over the roar of the Stearman, he must have noticed the excitement in my body.  "What do you see TC?" I calmed down and spoke back to him "DOLPHINS! I see DOLPHINS!!"  They were jumping along side of us!

Mike pulled up and flipped around and lined us up perpendicular to the ocean.  With our left wing pointed directly over the ocean and our right wing towards the heavens I looked down and saw hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of dolphins.  The water was so clear I could see everything they were doing.  I just watched in awe as Mike spiraled around and around those dolphins so that I could take it all in.  The dolphins were hunting and they were fast!  They were leaping in and out of the water.  One dolphin was teasing another by poking it with his nose!  It seemed like the dolphin being teased was annoyed!  I watched as a spiraling dolphin went from his gray back to his white stomach to his gray back over and over again spiraling like a torpedo!  I was so close to them and I found so much joy in watching them.

The feeling of the air and the ocean and watching such beautiful creatures jump and spin and play, is indescribable.  The beauty I was witnessing combined with the feelings I was having was moving.  It moved me.  My soul felt excitement and peace all at the same time.  I felt grateful to know God and to know of his unconditional love for me.  I felt grateful for such a rare opportunity to be flying in such a beautiful machine with such a great person and friend.  My feelings manifested in laughter and tears.

I didn't think anything could compare to what I was experiencing in that moment.

I know it's cliche but it really was heavenly and very spiritual.  I felt close to God.  I felt peace.  I felt seen and heard and important.

I will never forget this experience and I will forever be grateful to Mike and Kendle for taking me up there as a friend and as a member of The Reno Family that I have become a part of.  They did this for me as a gift, for no real reason but just to take me up and let me experience what they get to be a part of.

I have more love in my life than I know what to do with.

Jon, Tice, Kendle and Mike having dinner after my flight.
I was still on cloud nine... clearly!  

And now for the advertisement... YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!  If you have the opportunity to do this don't pass it up! My dad went too but, like I said earlier, I was writing about ME!!! We bought my dad a ride on this beauty for Father's Day and he LOVED IT!! The company is called BiPlane Fun and the people are Kendle and Mike (they are married {cute} and both are amazing pilots).  So if you are ever in the Newport Beach, LA, Long Beach area, book a reservation and thank me later!!!

Look!  There's Mike!
http://www.biplanefun.com/index.cfm/Home/

Feeling Spiritually Dead

So I have some frustration to vent and it’s taking a lot of trust on my part. I’ve actually flirted with the idea of going private again to keep posts like these safe and secure by deciding who I’m going to share these intimate details of my life with, but in doing that I wouldn’t be able to invite everyone that wants to be invited so I’m just going to throw it all out there to everyone; enemies, friends, acquaintances and even perfect strangers. And on a side note, thanks to all of you that are truly real in your blogging, it’s a breath of fresh air to read about how challenging life really is, it helps me remember that I’m not alone.

Okay so I’ll start with something not so deep. I have to admit that I’ve been a little anxious about blogging lately. I haven’t had a lot of “up” moments these last couple of weeks but I hesitate to blog about the “down” moments, especially one after another. I guess I’m worried about sending off the wrong vibe or being judged in the wrong way. I see that if I was a “healthy” person (therapy term) I wouldn’t care at all, I would just be me and not care who thought what… but I have to admit, there are few of you out there that I care what you think about me… just a few of you though!

Today at church we had a great lesson in Relief Society, but I have to admit, I wasn’t feeling so great about myself when the lesson was over. The lesson was on reading church materials such as the Ensign, Friend, Relief Society lessons, Sunday School lessons and then, of course, the Book of Mormon. Some people were sharing their ideas on how they read all this material throughout the week. After listening to some of the ideas I leaned over to my friend and said, “I wish I had some ideas but in order to have ideas I’d have to be reading… something… anything.” I’m not even reading my Book of Mormon these days. I realized that in so many ways I’ve become lazy in the church. I’ve chosen to not do the “little things” (or the big things) because there are so many other more important things to get done… like blogging right!?!? (FYI, I’m being extremely sarcastic). I really believe that in the last days there will be a distinct line between good and bad, between people that choose the right and people that choose the wrong. In my opinion, the gray area will not even exist. Right now, as I think about it, I wonder what side I’ll end up on. I mean, I know that my heart is good and that I want good things, but I haven’t been working to get those good things so I have to question, how much do I want them if I don’t do anything to get them?

I remember playing softball, we would practice for hours and hours a day, everyday, to get strong and get quick and better. I could run the bases in my sleep, I could field a grounder with my eyes closed, I could hit a home run… oh wait, I never hit a home run! Anyway, I invested so much time in becoming a great softball player (not sure I ever accomplished it) and I guess my point is that I’m not doing anything for my spirit and that should be a top priority for me, my spirit should matter more to me than getting the kids in sports, going to the gym everyday, reading novels, going on dates, hanging out with friends or even having a clean house but sadly I put way more effort into cleaning my house than I do nurturing my soul… and I do it with no excuse. What is my problem? Advice please…

I'm tired now and don't have time to go into the troubles we're having with Brayden in Kindergarten, all I know is that I'm feeling pretty inadequate and incapable as a mother... this post will come soon enough as I need all the advice in the world from you guys...

Posts to come (I'm behind):
Brayden’s troubles in Kindergarten
Diamondbacks Game
Anniversary
Boys going fishing
Anabelle graduating from the baby room at the gym